Motherhood today exists in two very different worlds. There is the motherhood that happens behind closed doors, filled with sleepless nights, messy rooms, unfinished meals and emotional exhaustion. Then there is the version that often appears on social media: beautifully dressed children, organised homes, carefully planned activities and smiling family photographs.
The gap between these two realities can create an enormous amount of pressure.
Sonal Katyal believes that modern motherhood needs a more honest narrative, one that recognises the difficult moments alongside the beautiful ones and gives women permission to experience motherhood without constantly measuring themselves against an unrealistic standard.
The idea of the “perfect mother” has existed for generations, but social media has made that expectation more visible than ever. Mothers are exposed to parenting advice at an unprecedented scale. From what children should eat and how they should sleep to how they should study, behave and develop, there is seemingly an expert opinion for every decision.
The result can be information overload accompanied by self-doubt.
A mother may begin questioning her choices simply because another parent appears to be doing things differently. What begins as inspiration can quickly turn into comparison.
Katyal’s approach encourages mothers to recognise that there is no universal formula for raising a child.
Every family has different circumstances, priorities, personalities and support systems. What works beautifully for one family may be completely impractical for another. Parenting therefore cannot always be measured through standardised expectations.
The same principle applies to emotional experiences.
A mother can be deeply grateful for her child and still feel exhausted. She can love spending time with her family and still miss her professional identity. She can feel confident one day and uncertain the next. These emotions can coexist without cancelling each other out.
Yet many women hesitate to speak openly about them because motherhood is often surrounded by expectations of constant happiness.
Katyal believes that changing this narrative begins with normalising the imperfect parts of parenting.
The conversation is particularly relevant in the age of curated digital lifestyles. Social media can provide valuable communities for mothers, create access to information and make women feel less alone. But when carefully selected moments are mistaken for complete realities, they can also create unnecessary pressure.
The answer is not to reject social media, but to consume it more consciously.
Behind every perfect photograph is a larger story that may include tired parents, difficult mornings, tantrums, uncertainty and countless ordinary moments that never make it online.
Real motherhood is rarely aesthetically perfect.
It can involve feeding a child while answering a work call, negotiating bedtime for the tenth time, discovering that the meal prepared with care has been rejected and wondering whether one is doing enough. It can also involve spontaneous laughter, unexpected affection and moments of connection that make everything else seem worthwhile.
For Katyal, recognising this full spectrum is essential to creating healthier expectations around motherhood.
It also means recognising that mothers deserve care themselves.
The wellbeing of the child is understandably central to parenting conversations, but the emotional wellbeing of the mother should not become an afterthought. Mothers need rest, support, friendships, personal space and the freedom to pursue interests beyond parenting.
As conversations around women’s identity and wellbeing continue to evolve, motherhood too is being redefined.
Being a good mother does not necessarily mean being perfect. It can mean being present, responsive, adaptable and willing to learn.
Perhaps the biggest shift is understanding that motherhood is not a performance.
There is no audience that needs to be convinced.
Behind the photographs, milestones and parenting advice is a woman navigating one of life’s biggest transitions, one day at a time.
And according to Katyal, giving mothers the freedom to be honest about that journey may be one of the most meaningful steps towards making motherhood feel less like a test of perfection and more like what it truly is: an evolving human experience.
